variations on a diary

marriage ashes & gold

iron jawn ch xii

she saw an angel

then a man—the devil

i was canvas

pregnant of anything

she opened my eyes

and saw red

and i became ash

the apple, i did not bite it

but i did let myself become nothing

and when the clock struck

gravity’s tides pulled apart at me

and away

leaving nothing quick

behind in the mud

that’s when i ate

serpent father

took me

put me

to use

and woe the depths

god, the depths

of man’s unseen

hidden—no

unspeakable—no

unreceived truths

i am the angel who

turned my father into ash

i am the man

turned myself into

the devil she expected of me

like the vine that was a snake

and i miss her

like she missed me

and there is only one way back

down “up”

yes, we nodded

just like that

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Jamie Larson
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